Kevin's birthdays usually don't fill me with happy anticipation. I have often dreaded these yearly reminders and other holidays and significant life events that bring up thoughts of what the "normal" kids are doing in their life. Sometimes it takes my breath away to see other families growing and changing while it feels like ours stays the same. One of the reasons why I take the time to keep this blog is to focus my attention on small positive changes. This gives me the ability to look back and see changes that may be difficult for me to see year to year.
Kevin's 10th birthday was a particularly difficult birthday for me and I wasn't sure how I would feel for this significant 13th birthday when everyone says the word teenager. Classifying Kevin as a teenager sparks some feelings of anxiety. I want to stop time and say wait!...we are still working on toddler skills, there are still so many things we need to catch up on. But, I think I'm growing up along with Kevin because I'm finding it easier to not be blinded by the disabilities that feed into worry. It is important to have goals to work on but it is more important to stay focused on Kevin for who he is and the many abilities that he has and that is perfectly normal for us.
It has definitely been a challenging year with two surgeries that required Kevin to be casted both times for 4 weeks and non-weight bearing for 6 weeks and learn to walk again. But his recent 5 week rehab stay brought many positive changes (even some toddler skills) to our life. Kevin adapted so well to these big challenges and it has helped me practice redefining our normal.
Here are a few of my favorite blessings...the things worth celebrating any time during the year.
I love that Kevin is participating more with dressing himself. I love to see Kevin work hard with his therapies and exercises. I love that he can communicate with his Talker and is getting better with it. I love those wow moments when he communicates something on his Talker that proves he is very aware and understands. This one may sound odd but if you have changed diapers for just shy of 13 years you would too...I love hearing him pee on the toilet and seeing him smile proudly. I love that he is getting new experiences through art, music, dance and making new friends. I love that Kevin loves music, photos, books, swimming, and going outside to walk or ride his trike bike. I love being Kevin's mom and the love he gives me through his smiles, hugs, and snuggles.
Thank you God for keeping me hopeful and giving us the gift of change.
I think I'll add a new song for Kevin who is constantly asking for NEW MUSIC lately..."Ch-ch-ch-ch changes" seems an appropriate song for my new teenager (gulp).
I also burned his birthday candle for the first time in 3 years...not sure if I wasn't doing it because forgetfulness or a form of denial that he had another birthday.
