A friend told us about a Healing Mass that just happened to fall on the date of my Dad’s Heart Anniversary - so we took it as a sign to make the effort to attend.
People attend a healing for many reasons, often times it is for their health or something physical but it could also be for something mental, emotional, or spiritual. And sometimes a person may attend with the intention for something physical but come away with a change of heart or mind or soul.
The Healing Mass that we attended was slightly different from the one we attended with Dr. Nemeh in 2006. Sure, it was obvious some people were there for a physical/medical healing but my guess is that many were not, they were there for a spiritual healing.
When people see Kevin it is obvious he needs a physical healing. On the outside it looks like something is “wrong” with him. A fellow special needs Mom recently shared that while she was shopping with her son, a child in the store stopped and asked her Mom “What’s wrong with him?” and the Mom of the “normal” child gave the simple but clear answer “Nothing.” This brings me to the very strong feeling I had during the Mass that Kevin didn’t need to be there - he didn’t need a healing - he is already “fearfully and wonderfully made”. It was I who needed the healing and not the physical kind.
I’m not saying I don’t still pray that Kevin be healed from some of his disabilities that hold him back or at least a few small things to make life easier for him and me. And please don’t misunderstand, I know that God didn’t make a mistake when giving us Kevin. I don’t think it is wrong that we try to help him develop to the best of his ability. After all, that is a parents job, to love and help their children develop to the best of their ability. And of course, like all parents I want the best for Kevin. So if God’s plan, one day, included a small or big healing for Kevin - I wouldn’t object.
After Kevin received his personal healing we sat back down in the pew for a while. It was getting late, so we decided to leave before it ended, as we were leaving our pew, every person sitting in the pew in front and in back and beside us stopped us to say they were and would continue to pray for Kevin and us. I have two comments about this. First, it gives me great comfort to know that strangers have empathy for Kevin and our family. I do have challenging days and fears for the future. So when someone says they remember us in their prayers, it brings me comfort and peace to get through the bad days. Secondly, I’ve had moments in my life, when I am feeling sad or feeling like “life isn’t fair” and then someone crosses my path with a greater life challenge than what I am dealing with, and it puts my life in perspective. It reminds me to be grateful for all that I have. I suspect that there have been times when Kevin has had that effect on someone else. In fact, I would guess based on the response that Kevin received from our fellow pew mates that many had those same thoughts. But like I said, Kevin didn’t need to be there - but maybe the rest of us did.
My healing is knowing that although Kevin may have the obvious physical disabilities that many of us feel need to be healed, it is comforting to know that the healing that many of us “normal” people need Kevin doesn’t need and may never need. His spirit is not disabled. His spirit is whole and bright and a beacon for us all.
This is exactly the peace of mind I needed as Kevin’s birthday approaches. A time of year that is usually very challenging for me. And since I am finally posting this the night before his birthday I can honestly and happily say that this year, I feel no worry or anxiety. Hallelujah!
Thank you, for sharing this. We are just going through an evaluation here at The Family Hope Center for our son. It shows that he has only gained one month in the last nine months. Sure, I feel like crying, but God has been comforting me and blessing me with encouraging thoughts. Reading this is another encouragement! Yes, God has created our children and has a plan and purpose. I mentioned to my husband that I feel like I might have an attitude that demands total healing for our son. I want to be thankful for what we have and keep on doing what i can. I have this motto on my kitchen wall "I can't do everything, but I can do something. And what I can do, I ought to do. And what I ought to do, by the grace of God I will do".
ReplyDeleteLove your life/kitchen motto! It is challenging at times to hold onto that hope and faith sometimes. I've had my fair share of tears too. Kevin has not had much growth on the FHC chart in the last few years but we continue to believe in the program and keep working hard at it. We were recently at an appointment with Dr. Nemeh and he said to me "Keep the faith Mom keep the faith." Thanks for commenting and reaching out again. Hope our paths cross one day in Philly.
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