AFO

Here is a close up of Kevin's AFO (ankle foot orthotic) brace for his left foot.

Part 1

Part 2
A high heel wedge to fit his foot positioning 

Part 3
Shoe to fit over the brace

Part 4
Right shoe with some added height to balance out the left

A Blessed Easter 2016

Welcoming my dear friend into our Church

Celebrating Easter with the family in my parents new house

Grandkids

Getting ready for the Easter Egg Hunt

My first Starbucks drink (chai tea) with my niece to celebrate her birthday 

First Theater Play

Kevin had a new and a good first experience when we took him to see "Dorothy in Wonderland" at a local community theater. Not only was Kevin able to tolerate the clapping throughout the performance but he was clapping along - his right hand claps the top of his left hand. I'm so proud of him, I love it!

A family from our church was part of the cast. 

The Scarecrow is Kevin's sitter

Life Challenges and Blessings 2016

We were asked to give a talk to a young adult group last week - to share our experiences on life challenges and the blessings that come through the challenges. I was so thankful for this opportunity to share our story. I found it to be a wonderful and healing opportunity for myself to look back and reflect over my life. If you are part of our life or follow on the blog, you have already read or have heard most of what I talk about, but there is something different when you are able to see all the years put together at once. It doesn't seem so scary and it's easier to see some of God's plan and the blessings he has bestowed on us. So I had to post - to help me remember when I need it. 

Jon was born and raised in north east Ohio

I was born and raised in south west Ohio

We met in the middle at Ohio University in Athens. We met the first month of our freshman year and I knew almost immediately that one day I would marry this guy, even though we were "just friends" for the first couple years. 

We'll be married 19 years next month and we have an 11 year old son, Kevin. 

Jon is CEO at Midwest Health Services.

I have the best job in the world, I am Kevin’s Mom.

From the beginning, my dream job was to be a Mom. It took us a long time to have a baby, which was our first big struggle. This was something that challenged us for years. Before I was even pregnant, I envisioned what life would be like with a baby and the family that we would have. But soon after Kevin came into this world, the life I had planned quickly disappeared. A few hours after Kevin was born he began having seizures. To make a long story short, Kevin has Cerebral Palsy because of a brain injury he had before birth that was caused by a stroke. This was devastating. The normal life that I had been planning and impatiently waiting for had drastically changed.

As I look back over my life before Kevin, I can now see some of God’s plan for me. When I graduated from college and was unable to get into graduate school - it felt like failure. But I got a job and I loved working in the nursing home with Alzheimer residents. Some of those skills have helped me as Kevin’s mom. I think God was also creating a good foundation for our marriage while we worked through small and big challenges, those seven years before Kevin was born. This has helped us withstand the struggles and demands of being parents of a special needs child.

Today, our life is full of daily challenges and important decisions raising a severely brain injured child. Kevin is non-verbal which sometimes creates behavior issues when he doesn’t know what to expect or simply doesn’t want to do something. The stroke affected the left side of Kevin’s body. It affects his ability to use his left arm and hand. His distance walking is limited by his left foot. We currently have a major decision to make on whether to go ahead with the recommended hip and foot surgery for Kevin. You see, after the first couple years of Kevin’s life we learned that the medical professionals don’t always have all the answers and sometimes there are other options available that have more success.

On February 26, in 2006 our church held a Healing Service with Dr. Issam Nemeh, the healer from Westlake. Kevin was 16 months old at that time and couldn’t even sit up. He had major food issues. I had to buy a special formula and thicken it to spoon feed him and it often times came back up. He was also having frequent seizures and was on a lot of medication. I can’t hardly look at pictures of him during that time because his eyes are glossed over with medication - he’s just not there. After the healing service, Kevin did not get up and walk out of church that day. But a day later, Kevin did do something that I had been yearning for - he gave me my first hug. Then, a few months later, my Dad picked up a book at the library that was titled “What to Do About Your Brain-Injured Child”. After my Mom read the book she immediately sent us two books for us both to read. Everything that the author, Glenn Doman said make sense. He had answers to help children with special needs and developmental delays. Our life drastically changed again. We traveled to Philadelphia to learn more about what Glenn Doman and his team had to teach us about brain-injured kids in a week long parent course. We spent three years with the Doman family at The Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential and now we are with The Family Hope Center. Twice a year we return to Philadelphia where Kevin receives a neurological evaluation to determine the progress he has made in the last six months. Then they create a home treatment program that includes nutrition, physical, intellectual, sensory, and social programs for me to do with Kevin to help him develop and reach his fullest potential.

We have been extremely dedicated to the program. When we first began the program I cut out everything from my life to devote myself to Kevin’s healing journey. But I also cut out “me time” and “couple time” and it wasn’t long before things began to unravel and we were struggling in our marriage. Friends, family, and especially Jon would tell me that I needed to take care of myself (put my oxygen mask on first). It took me a few years to understand that it was okay for me to do this, and that sometimes taking a break to spend time together as a family is more healing than checking off a long list of program activities. 

What have we gained from this program? Kevin has been seizure-free and medication-free since we began, when he was about two years old. His food difficulties immediately disappeared and he eats like a champ. He learned to crawl, creep, and after a lot of hard work, extra hands, and prayers he finally took his first steps on February 26, 2009 when he was four years old. Three years to the day after the Dr. Nemeh healing service. I know that my Dad bringing home that book by Glenn Doman, was inspired through God, and from our being at the Healing service with Dr. Nemeh, and all the people and strangers that were praying for us.

What else have we gained from this program? A supportive community. 

Our story could not be told without including the countless number of family, friends, neighbors, strangers, and our church community that have helped us. You’ve heard the saying - it takes a village to raise a child - well we have had more than 100 people helping and supporting us in one way or another. And even more people praying. We had this one exercise to do with Kevin, called patterning, it required 3 people and we had to do it 10 times a day, 7 days a week.  Some people helped daily, some weekly, and some people walked in our door exactly when I needed them to. Some people helped us by preparing food for Kevin, some built crazy devices to help with Kevin’s healing, and some helped us financially. But we were most thankful to our family who loved and supported us and understood that we needed to make a major change to our life to help Kevin.

At times, I experience a sense of loss when I start comparing Kevin to his peers and the milestones that he may never attain and a life that can look and feel much different from everyone else. Birthdays and holidays can be difficult for me. Christmas is an example, Kevin doesn’t get excited about gifts, in fact there have been times when opening gifts make him cry. I know that missing out on gifts isn’t necessarily a bad thing but I feel like I’ve missed out on that Christmas morning excitement. Until I recently realized that every time we visit my family or they visit us Kevin is full of anticipation, and we can predict that the first morning of the visit, Kevin will wake up very early - like Christmas morning early so that he can climb in bed to snuggle and giggle with Grandee and Pap or whoever is visiting. I love this blessing and it is way better than being excited over gifts. And we don’t have to wait until Christmas or a birthday to have that magic moment. 

We have had other challenges in our life. A couple years ago my Dad received the gift of life, through organ donation of a heart. So here, we are definitely on the receiving end of a blessing. During the time my Dad was in the hospital waiting for a heart, was a very uncertain time in our family. This is another example of family, friends, and strangers supporting us with their prayer. My sister’s mother in law spear headed getting prayer warriors represented in every state of the US and beyond to pray that my Dad receive a new heart in time. Every time I stop and think about this great gift that has been given to our family, I immediately think of the 19 year old girl whose heart now lives in my 68 year old dad. I think of her family and how they miss her and how devastating that must feel. I send them love and peace in all these moments hoping it eases their pain and brings them comfort.

The year 2014, was a particularly challenging year for us. The year began with my Dad’s recent heart transplant, when we were still holding our breathe that the heart wouldn’t reject. In February, after suffering for years, I finally had surgery for a hysterectomy. In April, (before I had fully recovered and gained my strength back) Kevin had a minor surgery on his ankles and was off his feet for 4 weeks. In June of that year, Jon’s Dad died. In September, my Grandma, died. And Kevin had his tenth birthday - a milestone that wasn’t easy for me.

So last year in 2015, I declared that it would be a year full of blessings. And in this momentous year you will see how some of our life challenges came full circle. At first, the year didn’t seem to be off to a good start. Jon was in his 18th year as a commercial banker. There were rumors of job cuts. Jon was very successful at his job, always in the top percentile, and normally didn’t worry about cuts. His job was saved but for some reason for the first time in the 24 years that I had known him, Jon was worried, anxious, and depressed about his job and about our finances. This was always my role - to be the worrier. After a couple months Jon was still depressed and we decided a job or career change might be needed. I’ll get back to Jon later in the story. First I have to tell you about what else was happening during this same time. 

In January, our church offered a program called Christ Life (MaryBeth). I only signed up the day it was to begin. When I arrived that night, sitting at my table was Len. When I first met Len a few years prior, he had said to me “I know who you are - your son is the reason I went to see Dr. Nemeh and was healed from my terminal illness.” I don’t see Len very often, so I was happy to see him and his wife in my group. He asked if we had been back to see Dr. Nemeh and I said no. He asked about Kevin and I said things were ok - not wanting to be pessimistic about things but also always hoping things were better for Kevin.  Later in the evening, Len came up to me and gave me Dr. Nemeh’s business card and told me to call for an appointment and that he would cover the cost. Before I was able to call Dr. Nemeh’s office - they called me. The office told me their first available appointment was February 26 - the same date, February 26 in 2006 when our church had the Healing Service with Dr. Nemeh.

Len and his wife, continued to support several visits with Dr. Nemeh that year, at a time when we needed hope and wouldn’t have been able to afford the visits ourselves. We saw some small improvements in Kevin’s foot, for instance bones that were protruding on top of his foot were gone. And Kevin also began making verbal sounds. 

During my time with our Christ Life group, Len’s wife happened to mention a book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I was like I think I have that book on my bookshelf. In fact, it was given to me by my friend Diane after my surgery. Diane is a nurse and had come to visit Kevin hours after he was born and she is the one that found him having seizures. These aren’t coincidences people! - I dusted off the prayer book and started reading the daily reflection every morning. Then for the first time since our college days Jon and I began praying together again. I loved being able to support my husband with prayer during a time when he was struggling. And God answered our prayers a short time later. Jon was offered a job from one of his clients as CEO of his company, they provide services to adults with disabilities. Running a company is new for Jon but he is excellent with finances and who better to support clients and families with disabilities than Kevin’s dad.

In September of this same year, (MaryBeth) we heard about a Healing Mass that just happened to fall on the date of my Dad’s Heart Anniversary - so we took it as a sign to make the effort to attend. I would like to share with you what I wrote afterwards. 

When people see Kevin it is obvious he needs a physical healing. On the outside it looks like something is wrong with him. A fellow special needs Mom recently shared that a child in the store stopped and asked her Mom “What’s wrong with him?” and the Mom of the “normal” child gave the simple but clear answer “Nothing.” This brings me to the very strong feeling I had during the Healing Mass that Kevin didn’t need to be there - he didn’t need a healing - he is already “fearfully and wonderfully made”. It was I who needed the healing and not the physical kind.

As a parent, I want the best for Kevin, and so I will continue to pray for a healing for Kevin as I continue to love and help Kevin develop to the best of his ability.

My healing is knowing that although Kevin may have the obvious physical disabilities that many of us feel need to be healed, it is comforting to know that the healing that many of us “normal” people need Kevin doesn’t need and may never need. His spirit is not disabled. His spirit is whole and bright and a beacon for us all. He brings so much joy and inspiration to my life, to our family, and to our community. His smile and laughter is a healing in itself. 

Just one week after this Healing Mass, our pastor, Father Jim, approached me about Kevin making his First Communion. A real milestone! This was one of the best days of my life.

To say that Kevin’s First Communion on Thanksgiving day was very special doesn’t even begin to describe this blessed day for Kevin and our family. We could feel the love of everyone that was with us at the Mass, everyone that was with us in spirit, and most of all the love of Jesus’ presence with Kevin and all of us. We are especially grateful to Father Jim for his compassion and understanding, and for making this day with all who participated and celebrated in the Mass so personable and memorable for us. Our out of town family was so impressed with our church family and how they embrace Kevin and make us feel loved and accepted as a full member of our church. Kevin has the title “special needs” meaning “different from what is usual” but our family and friends make him feel special as in “greater or better”. Kevin’s special needs require us to adapt our life and sometimes it feels as if we miss out on “normal” life experiences but the people of IHM show their love of Jesus by surrounding our family with so much love and support that “my cup runneth over”. It was overwhelming to see so many people who have been a part of Kevin’s journey over the last 11 years celebrate this day with us. God has always provided for our family by surrounding us with faith filled friends and family. 

Once, when we gave a talk at PreCana on Life Challenges a couple asked  if my faith in God was tested after Kevin was born. No, I never lost faith. Looking back I can see how it is stronger than before. But sometimes I forget what I know - I’m still learning and growing. Before Kevin was born, I remember spending a lot of time talking to God. When Kevin was born and during the early days of his program - we were totally surrounded by the love and faith of our family, friends, church, and community. It was really impossible to lose faith with so much love and support. And now looking at my faith journey I see a difference in my relationship with God. I trust him more and understand that He has a plan for us. And when I forget he reminds me gently through something I read or hear in a homily or from a friend.

February 26

Here we are again...February 26. Kevin's walking anniversary from 2009. He was four years old and had worked so hard for 2 1/2 years before taking those first steps. I never thought we would still be where we are today. I am thankful for the walking that Kevin can do but it's hard for me not to worry about his walking future.

Open the Little Orange Book.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young - a daily devotional

February 26

I am leading you, STEP BY STEP, through your life. Hold my hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy - even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion: doubting My promises to care for you.
Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I WILL SHOW YOU THE NEXT STEP FORWARD, AND THE ONE AFTER THAT, AND THE ONE AFTER THAT. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go.


Ok, I get it. But I might forget. So remind me when I do.
Read and Repeat.

February Update

Kevin happy to ride the escalator after walking
the mall in his Mollii suit and AFO brace

Green Sock Day

AFO

Kevin received his AFO (ankle foot orthotic) brace five weeks ago. This has been a very slow process. Many additional adjustments have been needed to ensure a good fit for Kevin. I have to be very observant of any skin irritation to know if something is uncomfortable for him. First he had an irritation on top of his foot and then a couple unexplained bloody toes. I have had to practice patience as we wait to see if his skin is irritated and then connect with the Orthotist and then wait for the needed adjustments to be made and returned to us. Kevin did have a good week with the brace recently but then he got a blister on his big toe and needed more adjustments. The Orthotist takes good care of us and seems to be really good at what he does - especially with Kevin's challenging foot. Kevin is cooperative and happy to work with the Physical Therapist. The one week that Kevin wore the brace with no irritation, he looked really good and steady in it. We are told that the AFO is not going to fix his foot or hip problem but it does give him much more support while walking and I don’t hold my breathe and cringe with every step he takes. 

Orthotist

Physical Therapist

Physiatrist

We met the Physiatrist doctor, last week. I felt fairly comfortable with him as he was familiar with most of the other alternatives that we have used or were thinking about trying. He also took his time with us and we didn’t feel rushed. I was relieved to hear that he agreed with the type of AFO brace that was fitted for Kevin by the Orthotist and our Physical Therapist. This also happened to be the week that Kevin was walking well in it and had no irritation. Unfortunately, in the opinion of the Physiatrist, he wasn’t able to offer any other solutions to avoid hip and foot surgery for Kevin as the Orthopedic doctor had recommended to us in December. The Physiatrist did say there was no need to rush into it right away. He looked up an old X-ray that included Kevin’s hip. In the old X-ray there was a very small dislocation, which tells us that there is more dislocation today than before, which could mean more dislocation in time. But the dislocation at this time is not dire - Kevin doesn’t seem to have any discomfort from it. This is a big decision for us and it makes it difficult to hear from the Orthopedic and Physiatrist that they recommend surgery but our team in Philadelphia that we have trusted for years and our beloved Dr. Nemeh would disagree. More prayer. 

Currently, our plan is to continue with the AFO and Physical Therapy. The Physiatrist, also put us on a wait list for Aquatic therapy. At the end of July, we will meet with the Spasticity Clinic team. This includes the Physiatrist, an Orthopedic surgeon, a Physical Therapist, an Occupational Therapist, a Psychologist, and a Nurse. At that point we will see if the dislocation in Kevin’s hip is any greater and then make a decision if it is the right time for surgery. Until we make this decision we will work on increasing Kevin’s strength and endurance, specifically in his left leg since he hasn’t been putting much weight through it while walking. By gaining strength it will better enable Kevin to recover from surgery and rehabilitation. We will also be doing a lot of praying for a miracle - which could end up being the proposed surgery. 

Kevin is much better going to appointments with doctors and therapists than he was last month. So if any good comes out of all of this, Kevin has a better understanding going into doctor appointments and what is expected of him.

Dr. Nemeh

We had a visit with Dr. Nemeh this week. Not too much to report except that Dr. Nemeh got to see Kevin’s Jekyll and Hyde. Kevin was happy, smiling, and communicating his love and happiness with his eyes to me and Dr. Nemeh. Then I merely looked at Kevin when he started gulping (something he doesn’t do on purpose but when reminded he is supposed to stop) and Kevin got really mad at me. It took a very long time for him to calm down. I tried refocusing him with his favorite snack and he cried the whole time he was eating it. I finally had to sit on the other side of the room. I think it took about a half hour before Kevin was back to his happy self. He gave Dr. Nemeh a hug and kiss before we left and handshakes to everyone in the office and waiting room - back to his friendly self. 

As I mentioned above, Kevin is cooperating much better in waiting rooms. We were scheduled at 11:45, Dr. Nemeh’s second appointment of the day. So we arrived about 11:30 and I think the appointment before us was done around 12:30. Dr. Nemeh started our appointment about 1:00 and it was after 2:30 before we left - getting us home about 4:00. It felt like a really long day. 

During the diagnostic, the same problem areas showed up indicating a fall - neck, shoulders, and back -still a puzzle. But over all, the bars on the computer were lower showing improvement. Dr. Nemeh used a new device that was kind of like a massager but had magnets in it and was able to use it on his head and fully on his spine and hips. 

I am noticing a decrease in Kevin’s verbal sounds again. I am not hearing him say “bye” or other sounds as readily and frequently as he was doing even at Christmas time. We usually see effects from our visit with Dr. Nemeh later, so I hope this will give him a boost in that area again. I miss hearing Kevin’s happy song. 

We plan to continue our visits with Dr. Nemeh, regardless of surgery or no surgery. Dr. Nemeh was reminding me of the changes that we have seen in Kevin’s foot - two protruding bones on top of his foot that are no longer present. So I will continue to pray to keep the faith and hope and for a miracle. 

Bad Behavior 

I don’t think I have written much about Kevin and bad behavior until this update and my last post. But yes, this happy kid does get mad sometimes and once he gets mad it can take him a while to switch it off. But considering all that he tolerates from the program and all the crazy stuff he has to do I think he does pretty well. He is unable to communicate verbally to us when he doesn’t like something. I think it would be more concerning if he never protested. We are taking advantage of another opportunity offered through the rehabilitation department - an alternative communication evaluation with a speech therapist and occupational therapist. Our appointment is scheduled in May. 

Life is Still Good

I almost thought I had nothing new and positive to report until I thought of our morning snuggle time. I started taking time to snuggle with Kevin for a little bit in the morning not just on weekends but on weekdays - when we don’t have to rush off to a morning appointment. During this blessed snuggle time, I don’t do anything but snuggle with Kevin and thank God for this moment in time with Kevin. I don’t read a book, I don’t look at my phone for emails, texts, weather, etc. I just hug Kevin. He normally likes to be snuggled in to me and put his head on my shoulder but he recently started to put his head on the pillow with his face to mine - for “pillow talk” and his eyes look at me with much love and happiness. The other new thing he does is turn around and spoon with me - Hahaha - but he doesn’t usually stay like that very long because he doesn’t like to face away from me. I feel so spoiled by this time I get with him. Our mornings didn’t allow time to do this before and I am enjoying every minute of it now. 

Please pray with us as we try to make the best decisions for Kevin.

"Keep on asking and you will receive, so that your gladness may be full and complete."

A Challenging Week

It was a challenging week as we continue to search to try to find help for Kevin’s walking and other areas of his development. The week was full of appointments with new professionals to give us their opinion on Kevin that differ from what we are used to with FHC. 

We know Kevin has poor positioning of his left foot and ankle and his left foot has a concave shape. After meeting with the Orthopedic doctor in December, we found out from x-rays that Kevin has a slight left hip dislocation. Therefore the doctor wants to do surgery on his hip, achilles, and several places on his foot. Here is the official list: vulpius achilles tendon lengthening; posterior tibia tendon lengthening; plantar fascia lengthening; brevis longus tendon transfer; lengthening of EHL tendon left GT. The surgery is not something that we can jump into. We are in the process of meeting with other professionals and continue consulting with FHC to determine what is best for Kevin. 

Kevin is not in pain or discomfort at this time. Although it obviously compromises his walking by intoeing and no heel contact. This limits the amount of walking we try to allow him to do - because of the improper gait. There is virtually no walking without shoes and orthotic inserts on. And getting his shoe on his left foot is becoming more challenging. Kevin loves to have the independence of walking and going up and down steps so we want this to continue and improve for him. 

At the end of December, Kevin had an evaluation with a Physical Therapist. We met again this week with the PT and an Orthotist, they worked together to decide on Ankle Foot Orthotics (AFOs). This brace will stabilize his foot and ankle which we hope will create enough stability up through his knee and hip. We want to get his left heel to make contact with the floor while walking to stretch the achilles and improve his walking gait.

The AFOs should be ready next week. Of course, we don’t know if this will help Kevin’s problems regarding walking but we feel it is something we need to try. If he gets the brace next week, he will have 4 weeks wearing it before our appointment with the Physiatrist, the rehabilitation doctor. I also learned that there is a spasticity clinic, where the physiatrist doctor, an orthopedic doctor, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and a nurse all meet together with Kevin. I like this plan. By obtaining all these different professionals opinions - it will help us make a better and informed decision if we need to do the surgery or if we can find another way to help Kevin.

We also decided to have an occupational therapy evaluation and speech evaluation. We thought it might be wise to check in and see what they had to offer and if they could offer anything to supplement what I am already doing at home with Kevin. The OT will assist me with my FHC program of getting Kevin to do more self care and tasks around the house with some concentration on his left hand weakness. But we are on a wait list for therapy. 

The speech evaluation was a little more frustrating. The SLP basically told me that if Kevin isn’t talking by now he won’t. Ok, this may be true and I know we went there for her opinion but this is how FHC differs greatly. FHC would never tell me “Kevin won’t…”, they give us hope. And frankly I don’t think I could have survived the last 9 years without hope. The SLP also had to do a hearing test on Kevin as part of the evaluation that showed he has a hearing loss. But we know Kevin does not test well and easily gets bored with testing - after all he can hear me pee downstairs while he is upstairs (see previous post). The SLP recommended making an appointment for an evaluation with the Augmentative and Alternative Communication device team, with an OT and SLP. 

Not only was it challenging to attend all these appointments and hear all these opinions. But Kevin was awful mad going into the appointments. I mean awful mad, including throwing things and breaking my necklace! I think meeting new people in a setting where he didn’t know what was expected of him gave him a lot of anxiety. He also wanted to use my cell phone to entertain himself with photos and music while he waited but I didn’t give it to him because he zones out while on it and it would be hard to get it away from him once the appointment started. I wanted the therapist to be able to see Kevin in a normal state. Well as it turned out they got to see all sides of Kevin. The PT and the OT handled Kevin very well, making adjustments to their evaluation process to encourage Kevin to calm himself down by using a different room, turning the lights down, giving him space. I let him have a pen to soothe himself with stimming. The SLP was a little more rigid and she didn’t feel to me as understanding as the others. But with all three, Kevin eventually calmed himself and was smiling by the end. There was even a hug for one or two of them as well. 

We ended the week with a 6:00AM Skype meeting with FHC. They are in Denmark and we wanted Jon included in the meeting and this was the only time we could coordinate schedules. Of course combining the opinions of FHC with the local professionals make it confusing. I wish we could bring all these people together to help us make a decision on what’s best for Kevin. At times I’ve doubted decisions we’ve made with Kevin and wonder what if. But after this week’s local appointments I know we’ve been with the right people at FHC. Sure, there may be holes but I’d rather take the holes in FHC rather than the alternative.

The end of the week left me overwhelmed and stressed. I was planning on taking Kevin to our church’s kids Mass on Friday morning but knew that I couldn’t be in a church full of typical kids. So I spent some time praying and alone with my thoughts and turned them into positives which I shared in an email with my family. I was also fortunate to have my mother in law spend the day with us. She walked the track with Kevin while I finally took down our Christmas decorations - which was a nice distraction for me. Afterwards we went out for lunch and a couple errands. It was just what I needed to get out of my head.