Sunday, January 15, 2017

Let it Go


Once the new year arrived it was time to start preparing for Kevin's surgery. This meant getting Christmas packed away and the house back in order, cooking and prepping meals, making books for Kevin to prepare him for surgery, getting other materials ready to have on hand once we are home after surgery, making sure the house is stocked with supplies, and various other household tasks - all of this while we continued to have therapy and other appointments. But I did take Jon up on his offer and for the first time and had a cleaning service clean the house. 

All three of us got sick with colds last week. It's not surprising that I got it the worst because I was feeling emotional with stress and worry. Although this is Kevin's first surgery in a hospital - I haven't really been worried about the surgery itself (because I know that is out of my hands) - but I was having a hard time trusting that we have made the right choices for Kevin with this surgery (the part I think I have some control over). 

Last week, I was starting to second guess Kevin's toe procedure scheduled for the surgery - then God answered me a few times until I got it. About 3 or 4 days that week, in the middle of the day (normally Kevin does this at the end of the day), Kevin indicated that his toe was bothering him and wanted his shoe and brace off and for me to rub his toe. I had to laugh on the fourth day...ok God I trust you...Kevin needs his toe fixed.

I even had a big freak out before Christmas about having the two surgeries this year instead of all in one. The surgeon talked to me on the phone and I felt better because I remembered how much I liked him and that I trust he is the surgeon for us. 

This week there has been less worry. My Jesus Calling book (Sarah Young) daily reflections have had the words I needed to hear every day. And I know my family and friends are praying for my peace and trust leading up to surgery day. 

Here is one of my favorite Jesus Calling (JC) days this week. 
I sent my Mom a text with some of the words from JC.
Then thank Me for the answers that I have set into motion long before you can discern results. When your requests come to mind again, continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way. If you keep on stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension.

My Mom replied back to me: 
Carrie could sing you a song about that: let it go, let it go, let it go!
(Carrie is my 9 year old niece)

Then not 5 minutes later my sister calls me (Carrie's Mom) and they serenade me on the phone while they are driving to school with "Let it Go" song from the Disney movie Frozen! I love my family!!!

So I am trusting more that all will be well. Trusting that God has led us to make the right choices for Kevin. Trusting to let it go (sing it with me :) into God's hands and his answers are on the way even though I won't know what they are and I'm okay with that...just remind me if I forget later. 

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